A Tribute

How do you really get to honor someone that has given you more than you possibly know at this stage in your life? There is more yet to come.

My Grandad passed away last week but this signifies more than just his death. This is an end of an era. My grandparents knew me my whole life and now all of them are gone. Within a moment someone that loves you unconditionally is no longer there. The person you love and have grown to be more alike - part of the reason you are who you are, is gone.

When I have children my parents will become grandparents and it seems like I just lost all of mine in a flash. I’m not sure what to think about all of this.

I had the best childhood possible. I always got to see my cousins, my cool uncles and aunts, my grandparents. There was Kay-Kay and Pat-Pat on my Mom’s side and Mi-Mi and Grandad on my Dad’s. Spell check keeps the squiggly red line under my spelling of Grandad (should be Granddad) but that’s our spelling- 3 children, 13 grandchildren and 19 great-grandchildren. We can do what we want.

Grandad and I were really close. I met so many people over the years that came up to me and let me know how much my Grandad talked about and cared for me. I knew exactly why- there was a turning point in our relationship.

At 20 years old I had decided to drop out of college for a semester, take my student loan, and head to Africa for 6 weeks. Why not? I had never left the US before (not even Mexico- border towns don’t count). Grandad and Uncle Tom had been to Africa on hunting safaris so I thought it natural that I go to Africa too. I wasn’t in threat of being killed by wild lions so this would be pretty easy for me. I told my uncle and my Grandad my plans. They were not very excited to say the least. I took their reactions as an attack, as a feminine disability – the weaker sex who could never survive Africa but the big men with guns could. I let them know how I felt (no guns and not a lot of money but I will survive!), packed my bags and promised to send post cards. There were tears of frustration on my part and I am sure sleepless nights for my grandparents.

It was that argument- that moment in time that I learned two very important life lessons:

Mi-Mi brought me aside after my argument with my uncle and Gradad and explained 2 very important secrets a woman must understand:
a. Men need to feel like they are protectors. When disagreeing with a man, you should listen, agree with their intelligence and then go about doing whatever you want or need to do.
b. Grandad’s care so much about their Granddaughters that it almost becomes impossible to communicate their true feelings when they are scared.

Mi-Mi was a genius.

That trip to Africa was the only time I argued with my Grandad. When I came back our relationship changed. Grandad respected me. I did what I set out to do, I had the adventure of my life, I learned and appreciated everything I experienced, and lived to tell the tale. He respected me for taking the chance, for the being the gutsy person I soon became, for living a different lifestyle. We remained close friends thereafter. I will miss him, but like all my grandparents, that love will never pass from me. I was able to gain so much and I thank them so much for passing their attributes on to me.

Kay-Kay, Pat-Pat, Mi-Mi and Grandad-

Salud!

I love you.